Do you make “mountains out of mole hills?” I can sure fall into this trap easily. While mowing the lawn last week, I mowed right over the two mole hills that popped up in the grass. It seemed they came out of nowhere.
This same thing happens to me relationally in my key relationships; marriage, family and close friends. Does this happen to you? All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I lose perspective and I take the “mole hill” and build it into a mountain. Something is said or something happens and a “mole hill” pops up in me emotionally. I feel unsettled, uncertain and my equilibrium is upset. Instead of stepping back and exploring what’s beneath the iceberg of these emotions, I power up and continue building my mountain. Ugly!
Now the mountain is filling the entire room. Imagine a mountain developing in your kitchen or your living room. Whoa! The mountain is way out of perspective for the incident or comment that created it. The immensity of it all spins everyone out of control.
How did I get here? I can’t shovel fast enough to displace the material that makes up the mountain, so I begin to justify my mountain building. Bad move! This move puts me deeper in a box where I craft my own reality. (Read: Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute). In the box I can’t relate to you from a healthy perspective because I see and view everyone from the lens of my box. There isn’t any relational traction here.
Let’s talk next time about getting “out of the box” and avoiding mountains in our relationships.